Homosexuality, Homophobia and the Christian Right

Focus on the Family says that they do not promote hate but yet when I was there (at Focus on the Family), I watched a video saying that homosexuals were out to attack families and that homosexuals had an agenda to ruin them.

This to me is funny and mink lashes very sad. Do you really think we are hatched or something? We also are human beings and have families. It is very sad for me, especially my family that the Christian Right tries to pass laws that do not allow gays any basic rights. Two examples would be basic domestic partner benefits and hospital visitation rights. Additionally, the Christian Right believes it to be okay to fire someone for having a homosexual orientation. This to me is crazy. How is that equality? The problem is that you are unable to look at a homosexual and see the person/individual. You refuse to see good, just a pathological sexual deviant.

The Christian right chooses to demonize homosexuality as if it is all bad. Sexual orientation is simply that, it is sexual orientation. It is whom we are attracted to sexually and emotionally. We see heterosexuals who abuse their sexual orientation with sex/drug/alcohol addictions and other problems just as homosexuals. But yet you do not pathologize heterosexuality. Additionally, it is preached that homosexuality is a sickness and these people are the cause of AIDS. In fact, most AIDS cases are from heterosexual relations. Also, AIDS is a worldwide problem that affects people from all over the world. The Christian Right argues we need to focus more on medical issues like heart disease than AIDS. I do not agree because most heart disease cases are found in the US and Europe mainly because of poor diet and unhealthy lifestyle choices. Examples include but are not limited to not getting enough exercise, smoking, high saturated fats, etc.

It is important to note that homosexuals can have healthy loving relationships as well. But you will not look at that. Instead, you turn to a scripture on Sodom and Gomorrah. I have read that scripture many times and it does not speak about homosexuality. That scripture is clearly about rape. It is about men that want to have sex with other men against their will. The scripture also does not lie about how women were viewed in the older Hebrew society, and how women at that time lived in a clearly sexist culture. Hence, Lot attempts to give these men his daughters for them to have sex. I never hear anyone ever say how insane that is. Let's cut to the chase here and say that rape is unacceptable whether it is homosexual or heterosexual. Again, the problem is that Christian Fundamentalists lump us all in one category. We are pathologized. The sad thing is that there is no awareness of that. Thus, this is why homosexuals are a marginalized population and continue to be marginalized.

I am an openly gay man. My sexual orientation is big part of my life but not everything. I have a partner, a family, a relationship with my parents, and relationship with my sister, brother in law and my nieces and nephews. I am close to all of them. However, I still have to worry about being called faggot on the streets and have had employers preconceive ideas (negative) about who I am because of my sexual orientation. Additionally, I have had my life threatened numerous times simply because someone thought I was gay. You see, my mother, who is Catholic woman, told me that she does not worry about me catching AIDS but rather she worries about me being gay bashed and murdered.

This is her biggest worry. So, where does this hatred come from? I believe that it comes from churches and authorities in higher institutions such as the government. For example, the military and their don't ask don't tell policy. Clearly, we know what this says about gays. This sets up a good/bad tier system regarding sexual orientation. Again, gay is bad. So I wonder, what is the evidence of that? According to the American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association and the American Counseling Association, there is no supporting evidence that suggests a significant difference between how homosexuals and heterosexuals deal with life and their problems. Fundamentalists, such as Focus on the Family take a few examples and then lump gays into one category, which says we are ill and sick.

The Christian Right ignores or fails to recognize that heterosexuals do and have behaved in similar ways that they say homosexuals do. When a gay person does something wrong, Fundamentalists are quick to point out that we all do it, further perpetuating false, untrue beliefs about all homosexuals. This clearly makes it more difficult to exist in the world. Despite my loving family and the loving support I have from them, I still have to live in this world. I must work and I must go to the grocery stores and malls. I have been almost gay bashed three times after leaving a gay bar with friends at different times and different places in my life in this so called free country. So you really do not understand the power that you have as preachers or pastors? The unfortunate piece is that when you preach that homosexuality is evil, others take those views and believe it. They believe they should and have the authority to enforce them. They may be verbal slurs or even result in violence. I know you say you don't promote this but it happens and these people (your fellow Fundamentalist Christians) use the bible and religion to perpetuate hate by engaging in this verbal and physical violence.

That is how oppression is perpetuated and this is why gays are still a marginalized population. Christians do not have to worry about walking down the street with their husband or wife and get slurred or harassed based on being who they are. Men and women can hold hands together or kiss in public. I do not have that right; otherwise I could get gay bashed. It has happened to my partner and me where we have been threatened when walking home from a grocery store. So no I do not believe that heterosexuals or Christians are a minority. I do not think you clearly understand what it means to be oppressed or be lumped into a category. Gay people have lost their lives because of their sexual orientation and that is THE REALITY.

I believe what you might have been referring to is that you are experiencing an out lash from a group of people tired of being oppressed. I am sorry you have to deal with that but that is what happens when a wounded dog gets backed into a corner. We have seen that happen in other oppressed groups in the United States. Gays have been wounded by an oppressive society and thus we fight for our BASIC RIGHTS. We fight for ourselves, our partners and our families, so that we can live the life that heterosexuals already live. I have hope one day that my partner and I could hold hands and express affection in public.

I don't because it worries him. He does not know how to defend himself and so I do not want him to be harmed. I love him too much for that to happen. However, this does anger me because in my family, I was taught to express my emotions and affections. I learned to love in my family and was taught that you told the ones you care about how you feel. I also learned to express my affections in order to make my future partner feel special. I know you probably won't validate what I have said but it is true. We are human beings with emotions and feelings.

In fact, we are all more the same than different. Maybe one day you will really look at what it means to be Christian, to be Christ like. And as far as I know, Christ understood people, loved them, respected them and validated them. I believe these are the values we need to teach people. We need to look at people individually. We should not judge groups of people and lump them into categories. Thus, in my life and the way I live, I want to look at the individuals and not judge groups of people. I realized that if I lumped people into groups, I would not be able to like anyone on this planet. And in my opinion, there is too much beauty and love in certain people that I don't want to miss out. This includes everyone from all groups!

Barry Aneda is a National Certified Counselor and a Licensed Associate Counselor working with our GLBTQ community in the field of Addictions and HIV/AIDS.

For more information you can reach him Then in order to visit his virtual office, simply click the link titled Visit My Virtual office.